This project was probably one of my most convoluted illustrations, but it also perfectly encapsulates how my mind often works. Reading this journal entry may give you a glimpse of what it would be like to talk to me about the stories I love.
On the surface, this is primarily a piece of fan art for the show "The OA"- a Netflix original, released from 2016-2019. While the show only had two seasons, and I didn’t learn about it until 2019, I quickly became obsessed. I came back to my college dorm one day to find my roommate watching the first episode- she had already seen the first season and was preparing for the second season with a re-watch. My curiosity was caught instantly and when she had to leave to attend a class, I just kept watching and I didn’t stop until I made it through both seasons. Like most fans of the show I was left with so many questions and heartbreak at the show’s early cancellation. I even eventually got my sister and my mom hooked, and they too stayed up all night to finish the whole series. "The OA" became a comfort show for me, and throughout my time at school I would often have it playing in the background as I stayed up into the early morning finishing projects. (I tried making one painting based off of the show for a class project, but the concept wasn’t very strong, and my procrastination let me down, maybe I’ll try that painting again in the future!)
About a year later, the musical- loving part of my brain got interested in "Hadestown", a broadway musical that placed the Greek myths of Persephone and Hades as well as Orpheus and Eurydice in a mining town inspired by Great Depression era New Orleans. I enjoyed the visuals of the production and fell in love with the soundtrack.
One song specifically stood out as my favorite: “Hey Little Songbird” sung by Patrick Page and Eva Noblezada. The song is a conversation between Eurydice- who is trapped in a storm, starving and tired, and Hades- who has caught sight of her struggle and is trying to lure her into the underworld. He refers to Eurydice as a Canary that he will keep safe to sing in his mine, but we know why Canaries are taken into mines. The song is tragic in that regard, the viewers know the truth of Hades and that will not provide the safety that he is promising. But the haunting tone of the actor’s voice and the desperation and hope that Eurydice is feeling make the song beautiful. I’ve fallen into random bouts of listening to this song on repeat ever since.
One day, listening to “Hey Little Songbird” while walking to work in November of 2022, a connection clicked. This song was the epitome of the storyline between the characters OA and Hap in "The OA". (And this is where I will say, I’m going to attempt to describe a portion of the story from "The OA"- just enough to convince you that this connection makes sense. But please just watch the show, it’s beautiful.)
"The OA" is a show that incorporates Sci- Fi and fantasy elements into a realistic, modern setting. The main character OA (originally named Nina, then Prairie, and finally OA), had a near death experience when she was a young girl. She had died, saw a glimpse of some “other side” but then came back. Her father later dies, and OA gets adopted and moves to America. She is never convinced that her father is really gone and years later, when she is a young adult she runs away from home. She had a vision of her father at the Statue of Liberty so she tries to find him there in person. After failing to find him, OA is heartbroken and in a last attempt to call out to him- plays a song on her violin while waiting in the subway. The one who is drawn to her music instead is a man named Hap. He is a scientist and he can tell that she has had a near death experience before. He tells her that is what he is studying, and he asks her to come with him and help him. OA is so desperate for answers to the visions she’s been having and a way into a new life- that she goes with him. She is taken to his home, led down into his lab- caverns and tunnels of exposed rock that was once a mine, and is ushered into a room. The viewer can see something is wrong before she does. The door locks behind her and we see the three other prisoners with near death experiences that Hap has captured for his experiments. In his studies, Hap has found that subjects who have had near death experiences before, have a much higher chance of reviving from future deaths. He develops an experiment to kill the subject, try to detect what they are experiencing as an afterlife, and then let them revive. OA and her fellow captives are imprisoned for years and endure this experiment over and over. In one instance, when OA sees the other side, she is given a gift from an angel- a bird to swallow. In her living body, that bird would transform into a “movement” that could lead to their escape. This is also when the name “OA” or “Original Angel” is heard for the first time, and she takes it as her name.
This fraction of the plot is overwhelming and odd (please watch the show) but if nothing else, appreciate the themes of "The OA" and “Hey Little Songbird” that overlap. The woman seeking something- an ability to live rather than just survive, reaching out to a powerful man, the man turning on her, being brought underground, the mine, the birds, music- sorrowful violins, cages, and death.
This connection felt so important to me, I wanted to tell everybody about it but, as is often the case, I didn’t know anyone who shared this specific cross section of media. I tried to ambush my friends and family with this profound discovery and its significance but no one was as excited as me! It reminded me of when I was younger. And how every song that I heard needed a dramatic music video in my head, so I’d frantically flip through my mental rolodex of favorite book characters and decide which one would fit “perfectly!”. That got me excited, because that was also the age that I made the most art from my own mind. In college I designed many characters and scenes, and plenty were inspired by stories that I loved, but I hadn’t gotten inspired to draw a story that I love in so long.
To start the project, I kept listening to the song again and again to find the exact points that the stories connected. This verse felt the strongest- the clearest example when I would explain my idea to others.
Hey Little Songbird,
You got something fine.
You’d shine like a diamond
Down in the mine.
And the choice is yours,
If you’re willing to choose,
Seeing as you’ve got nothing to lose.
And I could use a Canary.
I began making sketches in Photoshop (this entire project was done digitally.) I had some ideas of images that I wanted to use- some from "The OA" and some motifs from the song- I just had to figure out how they could all fit into a single illustration.
Once I had decided on the composition for the piece, I began with the two drawings of OA herself. The smaller figure is the younger version of OA, it is the moment she is playing her violin in the New York subway and the music catches the attention of Hap. She is the songbird, free and singing beautifully. She is colored closely to how she appeared in the scene- but I used an “oil” effect brush on top to muddle the colors a bit and give her the feel of a faded memory.
The large figure at the center of the illustration depicts OA as an adult. She has been in Hap’s captivity for years and a subject of his experiments and obsession with death and the afterlife. This pose is a mix of two different recurring actions in the show. One is a moment that OA endured countless times- she stands, arms strapped to rests on either side of her, a brace that buckles around her torso (and appear as folded wings when unbuckled), a tank lowers around her head (the top ringed like a halo) and the tank fills with water to efficiently drown her. Then, she comes back to life. The other action that is captured in the pose, is OA stretching her arms into one of the “movements” they learned. The pose of the large figure is a snapshot between those two actions- between life and death, captivity and freedom. I rendered this OA with a color and texture that would appear statue- like. She is trapped underground, in a cage, and in an endless cycle of cruelty. But she faces Hap with a stone resolution, she is determined that he will not break her. This statue appearance also portrayed her as a colossus behind the young OA- an unintentional reference to the Statue of Liberty and her poem “The New Colossus”. Yet another thread that I was thrilled to incorporate into the web of connections I was building.
That unintentional connection inspired me to change the design of the bird cage that would be hovering over OA’s head (in place of the deadly tank). I had originally intended a simple cage, something rusted and utilitarian that would in-fact carry a canary down into a mine. But, I decided to transform this into a much more ornate design- something that would display an exotic bird in a rich home. Then the crown-like structure and distinctive patinaed copper color would allude again to the Statue of Liberty.
I have also included a canary to accompany each of the OA figures. The smaller one is rising brightly and hopefully from the music being played by young OA. It follows Hap unknowingly into its cage. The larger canary is the companion to the larger OA. Its color has faded and it is falling from the air, dead. The pose recalls an earlier line from the song, “- Clip your wings, and knock the air right out of your lungs. Hey nobody sings on empty.” The bird almost looks like its been knocked out of OA’s lungs just as her breath had been.
As mentioned, the wing-like braces of Hap’s device form the shape of wings behind OA’s back. I chose to abstract these a bit, keeping their wing shape but in the form of a recursive neon light. A reference to the unnatural purple lights in their prison, as well as a repeating door motif in the second season of the show.
The markings above OA’s head were one of the final additions to the piece. They are the symbols that the characters use to notate the “movements” they are being given by the angels on the “other side”. These movements became a symbol of hope for OA and the other captives, they believed that with each one, they came a step closer to freedom. Including these markings in an arc overhead completed the circle of the composition: from the rising hope and life of OA’s music, to the capture of this angel, the fight between life and death, where the bird falls dead and rises again as it returns to OA’s song.
I hope the illustration can be appreciated even without this explanation, at the very least I imagine its surreal elements would draw a viewer in and leave them with questions they want answered. But for myself, and for other lovers of the show, the image is full of references and themes to explore and appreciate (it was even published in an OA fan zine! I was honored that it was meaningful to them).
Seeing the illustration and process now, while writing this journal, I am inspired to make more art about the stories I love and the ideas I see beauty in. I am reading more than I have in years- before college I was immersed in the worlds of my books and wanted to bring them to life with drawings as much as I could. Now I’m reading for myself again- exploring non-fiction and nature writing, as well as new books and audio series full of fantasy. I have so much to draw from, and writing about this project has reawakened that enthusiasm to create.
Written November 2024